Starvation

I'm really starved for attention. And it took an honest friend to tell me that. I want to thank her and spite her at the same time. Why? Because it really hurts to acknowledge the truth.

I'm an open person who values friendship and loves company above all else. And to be continually snubbed at the University of Chicago makes you feel really bitter. But that's not a fair assessment. There are wonderful people here who I hang out with and hang out with me. But when I do extend invitations to people and am continuously rebuffed...well, I can't say that I have thick skin.

I miss home, family, and close friends.

Big Ad

Saw the TBS Funniest Commercials of 2005, and was definitely amused by this one:

http://www.bigad.com.au/

Whoever came up with the idea is genius!

Transitional Friend

I realized after entering college that friends I will always cherish will be those I've had throughout high school. That's quite significant because they've watched me mature from a little girl in seventh grade to a woman her senior year. The understanding established through the years cannot be rivaled. Every challenge, every trouble, and every joy I've experienced during my years growing up, I've spent with my high school friends. How can anyone else compete with that?

And that knowledge is rather depressing. When I first entered the Chicago campus, I was expecting bonds to be made. But I realized within the first few weeks that that will not be possible. Maybe that's a very pessimistic view, but I don't really feel that close to anyone here. A year has passed and I don't know if I can call anyone on campus a "friend."

Perhaps I should give it more time. Maybe by my senior year, I'll have made valuable connections with others. But until then, I can't help but feel that it just won't happen. I already know what I've become and what I want. So does everyone else it seems. So if a certain criteria does not fit, it just won't work. College life. Ain't that a bitch.

Undone

You learn something new each time you hold a real conversation with a certain individual. It doesn't have to be something earth-shattering; often times, it's a simple anecdote, a quirk, or an off-hand comment. And it's a wonderful thing, really, because you grow to understand one another better. It doesn't necessarily forge lifetime friendships, but it helps you see the other in a different light.

Uno

Puedo verle
A través del espejo de sueños quebrados
No puedo alcanzarle
Una barrera de la reflexión nos separa
Deseo hacer uno

Sueño

A veces yo sueño del futuro
Los miembros aplastados son perfectos una vez más
Y corazones rotos se reparan
Ay, los son meros sueños míos

Whisper Tremors

a little earthquake left not a trail behind
its cracks too fine to make out
and the vibrations of it did not echo
completely unmoving, uninspiring

people like ants scurried along
continued as though it was all fine
but who would have known the pulse
as it beat rapidly to harsh demands

oh the aftershocks came like waves
crashing onto unsuspecting ones
and still no one paid it heed
until the earth was in ruins

Dawning Realizations

Here at the prestigious University of Chicago, Economics is their game. That is, ECON is what most students seem to major in (that or Pre-Med). And I fell into that gap, but I don't know if I going to do that anymore. I've realized that I simply am taking classes that seem like the right thing to do.

And that's disturbing because the sole purpose of college is to figure out what you'd like to pursue. I don't know anymore. I've always wanted to do things within the international sphere, so maybe I'll continue majoring in International Studies. It's just that I don't know what I would apply that to. Moreover, I don't know what I want to do after I graduate.

It seems that I'm not alone in feeling this way. Many students realize that after taking certain classes, the particular major is simply not for them. It's just sad that I came to that realization a little bit late. Hopefully I can take up other interests and pursue them!